What is it? Simple: Coaching is a conversation.
Disclaimer: Everything that’s written here is based on my knowledge and experience. This is My understanding and manifestation of coaching.
Let us boil this down a bit.
There are two people talking: one is asking questions (usually the coach) and the other person is talking …well, saying something.
Great. Now,
I can hear you asking: Okay Zsofi, very funny, but how does it actually work?
There are so many topics you can work on. Just ask yourselves: What is going wrong in my life? And before you say: everything – choose one: family conflict, argument with friends, work/school decisions, changing careers and so on. Coaching is a tool that supports You to find Your way of working on the topic You choose.
How? With all sorts of questions, of course. Here it gets complicated. Questions come from a variety of coaching styles like NLP, provocative coaching, lazy coaching. Some coaches also use other tools such as cards, movement or assignments. All depends on what You, as a client, bring to the session.
Based on the specialisation of the coach and the tools they are interested to use you can find embodied coaches, voice coaches, provocative coaches, business coaches or sex coaches (Did you just raise your eyebrows?) – and some of us have the balls to call ourselves life coach too.
A coaching session is an opportunity to reflect on what is going on NOW and to see what can be done next.
But…Zsofi…. Why would I do this to myself?
I know. I ask myself this every day. I have no clue. But I have a few examples for you.
I had a client once, for anonymity I shall create a new identity and name: Jeff. Jeff was around 25. Jeff had many ideas, and he wanted to do everything. Study, have a job, meanwhile also balancing a personal life. Sounds familiar? But he had one great unique aspect - he was bipolar. Of course, he saw this as a resource that could hold him back.
During the coaching sessions, he chose to focus on accepting this in his life with an action-based goal of getting a job. And guess what? He found a peer support worker role (where you are required to have a mental health diagnosis. Amazing!). He then wrote a CV, applied and got the job! He is now paid more than me. He had 5 coaching sessions.
Another quick example:
I had this other client, who will be…. Let’s see: Joanne. Her challenge was that she felt her ideas are not heard at work. Hm, it was a tricky one. In the coaching sessions, we focused on the things that were not said, such as her life at home. Turns out that at home she talks A LOT. (Oh boy, you go into personal stuff, too? - Yes, a bit. Different fields of our lives are interlinked).
It was visible that there was an imbalance between being heard at home, but not at work. Where to go from here? Well, first is awareness of this, and the next step was to identify what would she like to say at work, what message she wants to get across and working on that. She had 4 coaching sessions.
So, it’s like this.
But this post was so fun(ny) I bet coaching is not like this. Well… it is. It can be! Because I think life is easier if you can laugh at yourself – and difficulties suddenly get a new perspective. Personally, I work with humour and provocation.
Are you super enthusiastic right now, but you also have a problem? Yay! Wild guess, but you might benefit from a coaching session *wink*.
Ciao, until next time.
Yours truly,
Zsofi
Credits to Elena Zanchetta, creator of The Emphatic Fox, who specialises in expressing feelings through drawings.
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